Encourge Families and Kids to Hit the PAUSE Button.

Last week I taught a lesson a lesson to help kids when they doubt that God really exists. Unfortunately the guy who had actually expressed these doubts leaned up against the wall and promptly fell asleep. Why? He had competed in a sports event the day before in a neighboring state driving there and back in one day.

Last summer I had one of my volunteers cover a Sunday school for me. He had the kids lie down in the grass, look at the sky and think about how big God was. Most of the class, including the teacher, fell soundly asleep. Everyone actually really enjoyed the class that day.

Quite often the kids who show up for Sunday school, or "Youth Church" as we call it, look totally whipped. There is very little energy to participate in an activity let alone concentrate on the lesson. A large percentage of the kids of the church families are only frequent attendees preferring to sleep in. Some go skiing (can't blame them for that).

Being too busy is not a new issue. Feeling like we actually need to do something about it is. We've covered the subject of "systemic abandonment" before. It's the idea that kids live in a performance-based society. The only way they feel loved is by meeting someone else's expectations; their parents, coaches, teachers, even youth pastors. Kid's are willing to run at this frenetic pace because they believe that their performance is our chief concern and the way they earn love. They also begin to believe this about God. They feel they need to earn God's love and earn salvation by their Christian performance. In our rush to give our kids every opportunity we have left their hearts bereft of a love that sustains. The heartache has given rise to songs like, "Who will Love Me For Me."

Many adults, concerned with the over committed fast paced lives of our kids, quickly suggest that parents par down their kids schedules. Youth pastors will easily encourage parents to ease off on the after school activities. Unfortunately the underlying motive for the youth pastor is to increase attendance to his midweek youth group event.

In fact what is really needed is just plain "down time" with people, like their parents, who love them unconditionally. They don't need to be doing anything.

My son and I had a regular habit of camping on the weekends. There are a lot of things you can do on a camping trip. However my budget didn't allow for much. No ATV's, no dirt bikes, no boats, just resting. I'm sure that if we could have afforded the toys we would have played with the toys but we couldn't. Our camping involved good food, reading by the camp fire, an occasional hike, some fishing, and a lot of talking. It was also understood that Saturday or Sunday morning would include a time for quiet personal reflection, Bible study, and prayer. So, unintentionally on our part (or by divine design on God's part) we built relationships. Deep relationships of love, caring, and mutual respect with each other and with God.

Relationship with God is most important in our home, an attitude that was passed from parents to children. Our kids may not have gotten all the toys or opportunities the kids up the road in Aspen get but they got the "one thing" that made all the difference.

Our daughter was killed in an accident when she was fourteen. On her computer we found over thirty poems she had written to God. She'd spend many evenings in her room reading her Bible. We could hear her singing praise songs through the door. She wasn't an awesome student and didn't participate in many extracurricular activities but she had a faith that was real. We are certain she is in heaven enjoying her creator and we will see her again. We had a solid relationship of which I have no regrets.

At nineteen our son is shooting for a Masters degree. He is an awesome student and developed his own missionary job to inner city kids in Denver. (Ya, we're pretty proud of him) His relationship with God is foundational to who he is.

If, as a parent, your desire is to give your kids the best of everything carefully consider what the best actually is. Most kids do not end up as professional sports players but do carry sports related injuries to body and soul through adulthood. Some do get into excellent schools by merit or talent. The reward might be a higher paying job than I have. But what of their relationships? Have they learned what real love is? Did they get to enjoy you (you are enjoyable by the way)? Did they see you enjoying your relationship with your heavenly father? Will they learn how to love their spouse from your example?

Well, I can see that this note has taken on a definite parental tone. As a youth pastor, you might not even be a parent yet. So what can you, as a youth leader, do to help over-committed teens? Omitting your mid-week meeting might be one thing. Discuss it with the powers-that-be before shutting it down of course. Carefully consider if the benefits of attendance outweighs the negative side effects. Perhaps the time could be better spent for a "family night," a time set aside each week for families to put everything else away and play a game, watch a movie, or simply lay out under the stars.

It would be good to get your master Pastor on board with the plan. He can encourage the parents to pursue a family night so the time doesn't just get swallowed into a hectic family schedule.
Check and see if the parents actually have a daily quiet-time of their own. I've heard it said that you can't lead anyone farther down the road then you've been." How are you doing with your quiet time? Do you have a love relationship with God? It's hard to model what you don't have. It might be time us, as youth leaders, to hit the pause button too.

Multi-part Sunday School Lessons

A few weeks ago I did a lesson about Spiritual Warfare. I had heard that some recently Baptized kids were having trouble sleeping and others had shared their worries with their parents. As I was teaching the lesson they kept bring up Spiritual Armor (Ephesians 6). They were pleased with themselves for at least knowing this Spiritual Armor existed and exhibited an interest in knowing more. I determined that that would make a good follow-up lesson and spent many hours preparing over the next week.

The next Sunday I walked into the kids room all set, with a matching activity, great snack, the works. However, instead of the fifteen girls and one boy I had the week before the class now consisted of six boys and only one girl who attended the week before. I felt like I was in a completely different church. Where was my class?

This had happened about a year ago too. I taught a lesson on Spiritual gifts one week and had them fill out a Spiritual Gifts Questionnaire the next week. Unfortunately the kids that got the questionnaire were completely different kids, unprepared and not interested. But that was the only plan I had for that weeks class. It was a bust.

As memories of that miserable day flowed through my mind I remembered that I had two other Sunday school lesson plans in my bag. One lesson plan was tailored more for boys, and the other more for girls. I put away my lesson on Spiritual armor and taught a different lesson. As jarring as that unexpected change in direction was to me, the class was not a disaster. The boys were engaged in learning and the lessons goals were successfully realized. The next week the girls returned. The original lesson was taught to the audience it was intended for with success.

Dan Folgelberg warned in a song, "Changing horses in the middle of a stream gets you wet and sometimes cold." Luckily he wasn't talking about a Sunday school class. I'd rather be wet from sweat than drowned by disaster any day. From now on I will always come to class with several options ready to go. I write my Sunday school lesson plans clear enough so I can teach them even if my old brain locks up half way through. I fear "brain freeze" in front of an expectant group of middle schoolers. It happens. These Sunday school lessons can be taught cold. I could even hand one to an untrained parent or volunteer in an emergency and it would work.

Games can be easy too. I always keep a bag of balloons with a list of balloon games. A bag of rubber bands and some paper cups can amuse boys. Grab a couple rolls of toilet paper from the bathroom and have the girls make bridal gowns. Keep candy or "Zany-Bands" for prizes. Cash will always work for a prize in a pinch (actually that was a real hit one day).

I can't fix the inherent problem of uneven, sporadic Sunday school class attendance. But being flexible and prepared for several lessons helps.

Shiny Penny Kids and how to reach them.

https://teenbiblelessons.com/#pennyThe kids in my current Sunday school class are all great kids: Good grades, well behaved, two parent households, attend church regularly, lots of after school activities. So what's wrong with that? For one thing, they are actually harder to reach than the so-called fringe kids. They take in the Biblical knowledge I teach them but it's hard to tell if their hearts are being touched. I was a bit miffed about what to do until I read Chap Clark's book shown below.
Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers
By Chap Clark / Baker Academic

Hurt provided a vivid and insightful view into the world of today's teenagers. Contemporary adolescents seem confident, well-adjusted, and happy. But beneath the surface, they're often lonely, insecure, and empty. What's going on? Claiming that adults have "abandoned" teens just when they most need support, Clark's ethnographic study examines today's changing youth culture from the inside out and suggests five strategies to "turn the tide of systemic abandonment."

I also took a class from him at this years Simply Youth Ministry Conference. Now I know that even these "shiny-penny" kids feel abandoned and alone at times. The shiny pennies are just really good at covering up the hurt and conforming to adults expectations but they still hurt. After much thought and reviewing my own middle school history I see that this loneliness can actually be used as a "God -provided" entry point into a teens heart.

In my case, walking home from school one day in the eighth grade, I strongly heard God's voice or the Holy Spirit bringing up verses, that reminded me that I was His son. "You are my son, " I heard over and over. I felt the presence of God strongly. "Look straight ahead not down, you are my son." I knew I had heard the verses in Sunday school about being adopted into the family of God (Ephesians 1:5) and being heirs with Jesus (Romans 8:17) but now it was real.this realization changed everything for me. My self-esteem went up, even my grades went up. I have operated with that knowledge in my heart ever since.

We, as teachers, need to be mindful of the faith we are leading our kids to. Is it one of performance, cleaning up their act to be shiny pennies or is it adoption into the family of God. What a solution to the loneliness once they realize, "He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6). My father is with me all the time. What an opportunity we have to make the connection between the head knowledge and the hearts understanding.

Using my Free Sunday School Lesson Plans

From Kevin Ophoff at Teen Bible Lessons.com

for the complete resource visit my website at https://teenbiblelessons.com/

Leading a Middle School Sunday School ClassHere are my tips for leading a great Sunday School or Youth Group Bible lesson time. These methods are specifically for Middle School (Junior High) age kids.

Using my lesson plans: On the "Lesson Plan" page you will find many pre-made Bible lessons to choose from. These are not the usual "bubble-gum" lessons that you normally find offered in curriculum books. Rather, they are foundational, doctrinal issues. These kids are ready to learn more detailed answers to questions like, "Where do you go when you die?". Plus they want answers to hard questions like, "Can you go to heaven if you commit suicide?". Kids will ask you these loaded questions. If you give them the same old route answers they will turn you off and mistrust whatever you're teaching. If, on the other hand, you prepare a detailed, Biblically supported answer, weather it's a tough answer or not, they will grow to trust you and appreciate your lessons. The point is to tell the kids the truth.

Age group differences:My lesson plans can be adapted to both Junior High and High School age kids but the teaching methods are quite different. Middle school kids are just starting to realize that they can make their own decisions. They are just now beginning to grow their own faith apart from their parents. It's an exciting time to teach them.

Here's a tidbit from "Frontline": "As the prefrontal cortex matures, teenagers can reason better, develop more control over impulses and make judgments better. In fact, this part of the brain has been dubbed "the area of sober second thought."

If your class is primarily 6th-7th graders I recommend having them fill in the blanks on the lesson plan worksheets. This helps them begin to be able to create a "life application" sentence drawn from reading a Bible verse. Have them sign their names, and hand them in at the end of the lesson (I let them select one item from the "treasure box" as a reward {more on that later}).

At the end of a season we spend a class making cover pages and assemble the Lesson Plans into a booklet for them to bring home to their parents. I add pages of pictures of the class that we have taken throughout the year. The booklet becomes a valuable treasure and accomplishment for many of them.

For older kids and High School age filling in the blanks is more like a tiresome chore. They're ready for a free flowing discussion debating the finer points. Just use the questions on the Lesson Plan for discussion starters. Use the verses as Biblical support for the issue being discussed. Guide the discussion to the main point the verses are conveying.

To download actual lesson plans visit the web page below:

For the rest of the story visit my website: Teen Bible Lessons.